Means To An End.

Feb 9

Thin Lizzy - Whiskey in the Jar

Next weekend I’m sober for two months.
Still have no plans to going back to it. Relearning how to live without it is interesting, I still smoke pot now and then, however any form of paranoia or uneasiness I used to get from it has oddly subsided.
I’m still reclusive but my social anxiety issues are slowly disappearing, though I’m not as talkative as I used to be, I rarely have feelings of anxiety and when I do, I’ve learned some ways to repress them from becoming over-dominating but I wouldn’t say my condition is under complete control, though I am feeling a lot of progress within.
I spend a lot of my time, alone and drawing, reading, writing, watching the odd film/doc, always listening to music. I do go out but only to fly signs, work or go on an adventure through the city, go to coffee shops and when I could afford it, cheap restaurants and visit historical places I enjoy.
Today at lunch I went by the Cathedral Notre Dame, maybe one of the most imposing, powerful and breathtaking pieces of Architecture in this city to see.
I work now down by Old Montreal and some warm night I plan to adventure through all of it and take it in, find places of historical value and then learn more about the insane amount of history in them.
I’m realizing now how much stuff there has been that I have wanted to do that I never did because of choosing to drink, both in regards to money and also time.
I don’t regret the life experiences I had (well, most anyways) but it’s strange realizing there is so much else out there to do, to see and everything else that comes with it.
It’s strange……. However, I am content and feel inspired with life but I keep a cautious mind because I don’t expect everything to always stay the same.
Rocky roads and fascinating times both await down the path in various shapes and forms but I want each and everyone of them.